I know some of you have messaged me or commented looking for a blog. Today I feel ready and I'm back on my path. I love to share for so many reasons. To let others know their not alone, to share what I have tried and has been successful for me so that you can try for yourself, offer solutions when sometimes you feel there are not any and to help me on my own healing journey. Typing it in all its reality.
The past few months have been quite possibly the most trying I have ever experienced. In print it sounds pretty horrendous. But for the most part I found strength from my spiritual practices, natural health solutions and the support of some truly amazing people.
On the 13th of July my mother died from cancer. It was a journey we had been part of for nearly 2 years, grieving since the day we were told it was terminal. I can only now look back on how chaotic my life had become. I spent as much time in that 2 year period as I could with her. She was the most giving, selfless and caring person I have ever met. As a family we nursed her until her last breath.
During this period I was increasingly worried about my balance issues returning and coping with the stress of the situation. I was working all hours, putting pressure on my marriage and home life and things did start to crack. Due to changes in the economy in our area we now also had some financial pressures too.
My life was being driven by fear. "Fear cannot drive you forward it can only drag you down"
Due to these fears I came off my path for a little while. From a professional sense I found myself going in a direction I wasn't comfortable in. Through this period I would compare myself to others and the fears and insecurities I'd worked hard to remove reappeared. My work is hugely personal to me and my whole business has been built around things I have tried and found successful in supporting me through lifes up and downs. So I can't compare it to anyone else's as it is my story. The only way to rectify this was returning to my story. Nourishing my work and myself is allowing me to feel authentic again. I share with love and the hope that someone else can benefit from my experience.
"When we act from a place of love life will flow. Share with love, speak with love, work with love."
I am writing this blog from a little hotel overlooking a bay in Findhorn in Scotland. I have taken this time away to grieve, explore emotions, write, rest, meditate and be on my own. The one thing I had begun to fear was doing nothing. If I was busy I wasn't thinking about what had happened, all the emotions I had felt, the fact I'd lost something so special and part of me.
Today I visited some historic sights and places my mum would have loved, I meditated in a biblical garden and felt the sun on my face. I felt her in the trees around me. As I walked through the gardens the tears rolled, as I thought of all the things I missed about my mum. Her strength, courage, support, her always being there to speak to, to offer advice, to always have my back no matter what. She was my biggest cheer leader, she shared all my success's and lifted me when I fell. Nobody has ever known me the way my mum did. (as a side note and one of synchronicity my dad just called me as I was typing this, I told him where I had been and what I was doing. He told me how much him and my mum enjoyed being there and they'd been on a number of occasions. I told him that I'd felt her in the trees and we both cried. The ache in our hearts is so real.) I started to think of everything I missed about her and this then turned into all the reasons I loved her. Something clicked and I saw my loss differently but more as an appreciation of everything she embodied. She embodied everything that was good and right. I mindfully walked through the gardens appreciated all that was good, the bee that landed on my arm, the beauty of the flowers and the sun and wind. I meditated with a mantra to focus my attention. I chose to use a mala bracelet I had and chant love in my mind 108 times. I felt my heart heal a little and this is something I will continue to do.
It is only by being alone with yourself that sometimes you can truly hear what your soul has been yelling at you through the noise of life. Stop, listen to me, allow emotions to develop, evolve and move. Trust you intuition, listen to what feels right and what does not. Honour your beautiful self. Be with love and be love.
Sending so mush love and light your way. Hope this helps
Life has been so busy and I‘ve missed blogging. Today’s blog is written from a place of pure gratitude. I hope that it can inspire someone and give hope to those that are maybe struggling just now. Many months ago I was staying at my brothers. Whilst travelling there my balance on the train wasn’t great, I had to go to my bed early one evening as I felt so anxious with my balance.
I have tried numerous things all of which have helped to varying degrees. I decided enough was enough and that I needed to take action. I typed in google Balance Therapist, Aberdeen. I made a note of the number and once home in Aberdeen I called and made an appointment that changed my life.
I want to share this as this is why this blog was created to write about my journey with labyrinthitis , vertigo and balance.
I attended Alan’s office and had my first visit, we did various things to monitor my balance and trigger dizzy spells. I was in tears it was horrific. But he understood what I was going through, he explained physically/physiologically what was happening to me. And it made sense. He gave me some exercises to do which would train my ears to balance again. It was pushing myself to the point of it being uncomfortable then stopping. It got worse before it got better. But he explained it was like training for a run, that I would be uncomfortable the next day then the next time it would get easier. And you know what, he was right.
I went to a concert with my husband and it triggered things, the light, the amount of people, the noise. It was so hard but I did it. I took breaks when I wanted to avoid the shear panic. It wasn’t much fun and I wasn’t totally loving it but I did it. Before I felt like I was letting my husband down as he enjoys concerts and the theatre so much. If I went I would feel anxious or panicky and use affirmations constantly to talk myself around. I felt crap the next day, like a hangover without the alcohol. But at least now I knew it was because my balance had been working really hard and training.
The next step for me was to go shopping, even going to the supermarket with the lights and movement would trigger things for me, so I tackled them. I would take my time, focus on a static point. Alan assured me that if I felt scared it was ok to leave and try again. It was about building my body up slowly.
I went into a busy shopping mall. I went up and down lifts, escalators. Things which some people do everyday but for me this was a huge deal.
I get extremely anxious travelling and flying especially incase it triggers anything with the pressure. The past two weeks, I have been on planes, trains, the tube.
Last weekend I travelled to London, I was pretty terrified being completely honest. I am not used to being in crowded places anymore, flying without my family or husbands support. I was on a bootcamp for my business. Which completely pushed me out of my comfort zone. Anxiety or stress will exaggerate symptoms and I am now aware of that. As our senses become heightened. My breathing techniques, meditation and focusing on static points helped loads. Also did being honest with those on my course. I spoke to two ladies I was travelling with and explained how I felt. They were there to support not to judge. So please don’t be scared to share your fears, hiding your condition or symptoms will only give them power. Take support where you can.
I was on escalators, trains busy places in a fast paced city. I honestly want to high five myself as I type this. Any mums out there will know how hard it is to leave your family and go do something like this for yourself too.
The reason I’m filled with gratitude today is because I’m writing this from the train. I’ve been away on my own, travelling on the train, in another busy city, going up and down escalators, meeting new people. Staying on my own. I’m holding back the tears of joy. If it hadn’t been for my balance issues I would not have the business I have today. I would not be a Reiki practitioner, I would not be teaching others about the benefit’s of mediation and mindfulness, I would not be an advocate of essential oils and I would not have just completed my training to become a Relax Kids coach for teaching Children Meditation, Relaxation and Mindfulness.
Stick in people, look for support, if something isn’t working for you keep searching for solutions. You may not be back to the way you were but you can embrace the new, marvellous and wonderful new you. Sending so much love and hope to you all.
Please get in touch if you would like any advice, support or further information on anything I have discussed.
What if I told you , you could leave the cleaning and go chat to a friend on the phone for an hour? Or that you could just Forgive someone, hug them and move on?, Or that it was ok to just go read a book and have a bath when you had a business proposal to plan?
What I'm trying to tell you is that we have choices. I have lived a life where by being busy and constantly achieving was seen as the be all and end all. That it somehow was an accolade to run myself ragged burning the candle at both ends, making myself ill, stressed and highly strung into the bargin.
Over the past few years I have made a serious commitment to change this. My job, my diet, my attitude to life. Because I love it all so much its hard sometimes to switch off. By switch off I mean absolutely nothing for me. For you it may be different. I teach meditation and mindfulness classes, create natural products and am a Reiki healer. So for me I can sneakily do work and research new work things through my practice so even when looking into holistic things, for me I'm still feeding that sneaky old habit of wanting to do it all.
I'm an avid reader, but even my reading is spiritual based and all of it is learning based for sure. Not a fictional book is being touched at the moment.
A number of things have happened personally in the past few months which has shaken me a bit. Bolts from the blue so to speak. These life shake ups have got me thinking and appreciating my family and friends so much more. Life is hard but does it need to be as hard as we make it? Life is also full of surprises good and bad, showing us that nothing is static and certainly makes you aware of your existence.
So I have been making a real conscious decision to switch off. This includes turning down some work opportunities. Not working late into the night and early morning. Instead watching rubbish TV with my daughter, colouring with her, spending time cooking and baking. Spending time chatting with husband, walking with the family and kids and trying to do more things together as a whole. Oh and to add to the mix we got a puppy!
It's so easy for us to drift of doing our own things, because we can. We can make excuses for it very easily "If I didn't work you wouldn't have this,that etc" , " If I don't wash these dishes right now, they'll never get done" , "We happily do our own thing, that's just how we work, I don't want to live in someone's pocket" . You know the excuses I mean, your possibly saying to your computer right now, that's ok for her to say but I do have to do those things. I know you will have commitments you cannot ignore, however really think about it........... We all have a choice.
In order to make these choices easier for you, learning to so no is a biggie. No to work commitments, even no to your children. Sounds like a contradiction doesn't it. Right now as typing this my daughter has appeared downstairs asking me this and that and wanting to chat to me. I have 3 choices chat to her whilst doing it (which means we wont be connected and will get irritated with each other) or get say "cant you see Mummys busy" (upsets her initially then upsets me for excluding her), or say "Mummy's typing her blog at the moment, I will be with you in 5 minutes then we can chat properly and mummy can concentrate on you alone". Ok chose choice 3, before I would have probably chosen choice 1 stressing myself out completely and making errors, then choice 2 would have come into play. But by saying NO, focussing and completing its a happier place to be for sure. Boundries my lovelies!
I read a quote on facebook the other day which pretty much summed this up, "What if you were told you were going to die, well you already are!" It's harsh but true my lovelies. Think about it next time you say to yourself I cant do that because I don't have time.
Last week I sat and spent hours on the phone to various friends and family and truly listened. I spent long emails catching up. This is a connection we miss out on so much, as were always on the run.
I previously struggled giving up control on things and in order to get over it I would say to myself "So what!" , at the moment I think "Why Not".
So today I'm going to pic a fictional book, hug my family, visit my mum and make fancy dress clothes with my daughter.
What's going to be your "Why Not" this weekend, get connected, read write, sleep dream. Give it your undivided xxx
Sending you all so much love beautiful people.
Sitting on my sofa with a green smoothie looking pretty shabby but feeling marginally better than I have the rest of this week.
Last Saturday I hit a wall, I had been ill all week but just kept pushing and pushing myself through. I took my mother into town and then it hit me bam! I felt sick, spinning out. I ended up being driven home and popped to bed.
I'd been fighting my body all week and still even though it was saying to me listen look what your doing, I thought no! Saturday was pretty awful emotionally, physically the lot. The guilt I felt was unreal for being unwell. I was supposed to be having a nice day with my mother and I'd ruined it, I was supposed to look after her as she has cancer, what if I passed something onto my mother, I was supposed to be looking after my children, We had a lovely weekend planned and I was spoiling it, my husband was leaving the following morning on a trip away and I felt I was sinking. Unable to cope. I let myself break down completely and it was terrifying. I felt silly, stupid the lot. It was pretty epic.
It was a pure build up of being ill, stress and emotions and fears I was locking away. the week before had been monumentally busy with work, large life decisions, relationship challenges and I couldn't suppress it anymore. I'm crying now typing this and I'm ok with that as its a total release and sometimes we really have to just break down to get back up again and find our feet. You wont keep sinking forever.
Last night 4 days after the mammoth melt down I still couldn't shift what I was feeling. I realised it was time to surrender to it. Just sit with no meditation, reading anything and go to sleep early and see what happens. All week I'd been bathing in Epsom salts, Reiki, meditation using essential oils. Still I suppose in a way fending off whatever virus or emotions I was having.
I've been lying pretty low this week really just existing with life and not doing overly much. It's been a struggle for me that's for sure but its ok. I realise this is a learning experience for me. I'm going to listen and try do nothing! Absolutely nothing except exist. I understand I still have school runs, cleaning, meals to make etc but all the other stuff, the todo lists I've made can wait.
I received an email this morning with some words of wisdom. The email was sent to me from Karl Moore. The email was about one of Karl's friends who sadly passed away last week. These are things he wished us to know prior to his death. It was pretty emotive reading. I hope you can take something from it. I know I did. Email below for you to read.
Love to you all gorgeous blog readers
Love and support
Email from Karl Moore
I knew he didn't have long to live.
I was sat next to him on a cold bench at Brighton beach, staring out at the ocean.
"I want to tell you some crap," he said. "Pass it on."
And then he began.
Telling me the things he'd learned in his short time on this planet. The kind of things we all need reminding of from time to time, but we oh-so-easily forget.
He started talking...
"Rule number one, most shit don't matter."
The stuff you spend hours worrying about or getting excited over often doesn't really matter. Focus instead on the deeper things that will really count toward a happy life.
"Rule number two, let go of the past."
Regrets and bitterness hold you back. The past cannot be changed. Life only ever moves forward.
"Rule number three, everyone dies with a TODO list."
Don't make work your life, unless it's something you truly enjoy. Everyone dies with a TODO list. Don't glamorize busy-ness.
"Rule number four, assholes exist."
Forget trying to make everyone happy. The world is full of asses. Don't waste your time trying to understand them or please them.
"Rule number five, stop waiting."
It's so easy to delay doing something, just because we're waiting for the situation to be perfect. It will never be perfect. Do it now anyway.
"Rule six, know you're f*cking awesome... !"
It's so easy to forget how amazing you are. You're always uniquely you, no matter how hard you try not to be. Accept it, love yourself, and go live it large.
The thing is...
He died last week.
And he wanted me to pass this onto you. So that's what I'm doing.
Passing on the lessons of a late friend, to help remind you to live an awesome life today :-)
I've been wanting to write a blog for so long again but the words have failed to come. My journaling has ceased, my gratitude writing has stopped, even little things such as replying to people on facebook has been a challenge. It's really not like me to be lost for words but the past few months has surprised me. I'm just pretty vacant, lacking in opinion and vocals.
Never felt like this as I love writing and speaking. I decided tonight was the night. I grabbed my journal and wrote again and later before I head to bed I'll take a little piece of paper and write down one thing I'm grateful for today and pop it in my gratitude jar.
I always write notes on my phone for future blogs and when I went and looked this is what I found: "Living holistically can be a minefield", "Minimalism", "Focus and Distraction", "The wonders of meditation" and "Inability to Stay Focussed on One Thing". So not really feeling full on and ready to write about those I'll start with a blogging ramble I think.
I'm typing this blog from my new laptop. My husband bought me one as my old one was falling apart, wires hanging out but it still worked (with the occasional blip) but it was mine! So found that challenging even taking my new one out of the box. Funny how we can attach ourselves to inanimate objects. The funny thing is I know I'm not the only one with laptop attachment. I'm generally all up for change but the laptop was as step too far. I'll christen the new one by writing to you and getting my voice back.
Next thing having a few things going on with me internally at the moment, fears arising about certain situations, tired, feeling sick, have been very up and down emotionally, eating crap, not exercising as much its time for a reboot (excuse the computer pun!).
When we're eating well, resting well getting some fresh air and exercise Life is easier. We are happier within ourselves. So back to the technological jargon its time for me to reboot and install some updates. It's time for a life rejig again, find a way of fitting in the essentials and more importantly making time and space for the things which make my heart sing.
So like my new laptop its going to take time getting used to the new. Setting up procedures, copying over the things that work and deleting those that don't. Making space for the new, improved and ever evolving Susi McWilliam.
In previous blogs I always put a list of what I was up to. Here is the list from an old blog:
I am now ready to take it a bit further than that now, not quite sure what that means yet but being open to whatever comes my way. So for now I'll carry on living my life with love in my heart, existing, caring and being willing to do the work it takes however challenging that may be. It's all about balance. It's an unusual one but for me its about knowing how hard to keep pushing for something without that pushing putting me under undue stress and upset. Thanks for listening my gorgeous blog readers. Thanks for helping me get my voice back and I look forward to writing the next blog with some inspiring and life enhancing changes ha ha. No pressure!!!!! I'm ready.
Wishing you all and awesome July with healthy changes and heart and love filling activities.
Huge Squashy Hugs
The irony of this post isn't lost on me, it's been a long time coming. As I hide in my bedroom to escape for maybe 20 minutes, I reach for my phone and see the notes I wrote about this post are from the 17th of March ha ha!.
I saw this picture a while back and it resonates with me so much.
I'm coming to the end of school holidays with my kids and life is changing at an ever increasing pace. So much happening in my friends, family and my own life just now that sometimes we feel like we're just being carried along by the waves.
Relationship break ups, job losses, cancer, ill health. Its pretty mental really. I know, as I'm sure you all do, that we need to look after ourselves as well through these times. It's tricky when your a mum, daughter, wife, dad, husband, girlfriend, friend etc.
I woke this morning with anxiety in my chest, I knew today I needed to make the time for me. To breathe and do something solely for me. I know when I get this way that I cannot offer the best of myself to those who need me. In theory I should learn not to get to this point but easier said than done.
I spend most of my week driving from one place to the next, ever present but no silence or quiet. In the doing, doing, doing of everyday life there's no time to pause, reflect, process. Everyone leads such busy lives, switching from one thing to another,just getting through the day.
I've worked quite hard at not "just getting through things", but enjoying them too. Mindfulness and being present, taking time to stop and slow down are necessary.
I have an never ending list of things that inspire me, get my enthusiasm going and bring me back to being superwomen. Getting a chance to do these things is wonderful and I can only do this by stopping and making a concious effort to make the time.
Here's my happy, solo motivating list:
I guarantee during this period of slowing down you'll feel less anxious, happy, inspired and ready for the week ahead. Grab a journal, write your dreams, take the time to realise what they are are.
Right my gorgeous blog readers, message me your how you get on. Sending you all love. Have an awesome weekend. And remember its ok to go solo!
Peace, Love and Joy to you all
We're all so quick to cast judgement. This can be on others, ourselves, behaviours, actions. Life is so different for so many people and it is pretty true to say we know bugger all about what is happening in anothers life.
We're brought into this world and raised by our families. Without realising we naturally develop learned behaviours and responses. This is ok. We come from different countries cultures, classes and we only know, what we know.
Overtime if we choose too, we begin to view others actions and make judgements. "She's got a nicer car than me she must be loaded", "They work all the time, they have no life balance", "Their babies in nursey how could they do that" "She's a stay at home mum, how could she do that". Its so easy to make assumptions on others behaviours lifestyles etc. We all do it. The media is rife with it "Shes's too fat, thin, old, young" etc etc.
You know what, none of us is perfect. Even if we try our hardest to remove judgement from our lives it secretly sneeks in. It's completely natural as were only going on learned behaviour.
Then here's the biggy, Who do you judge the most? I can almost guarantee its yourself. You should have known better, you should have worked longer, you should have exercised today, you shouldn't have taken the kids to mcdonalds, you should be be thinner, happier, gossip less, judge less. Slagging someone off or gossiping etc doesn't make you feel good it adds to the negative energy.
Here is where I'm going with this journey. If I do something and start chastising myself after I say "So What". Not because I don't care, but because sometimes were just too hard on ourselves. I would never do anything harmful or mean to another and don't condone crap behaviour but equally, the fact I am saying "So what" has shown me I am aware of this action, how it makes me feel and I can learn from it.
Its all eternal learning. Its a tricky concept as we all seek approval be it from a colleague, friend, boss, family member so we do what we think is right. But right for who? Releasing control of others opinions and actions is incredibly liberating and such a positive thing you can try to do and learn for yourself. It's tricky because you have norms to live up to, how things should be done! Maybe its not so much should be done, as how things have always been. That doesn't necessarily mean that's the only way though.
We all have a choice as to how we behave, think, react. We can only but try to just be, love, care. However if you flip out, rant, shout, cast judgement on anothers actions, gossip, moan or basically just have a shit day. Say "So bloody what" and start again tomorrow. Acknowledging the judgement is enough to hopefully spur learning from the situation. So get the positive affirmations flowing, the gratitude for what you have and distract yourself from judgement.
So send Love to each other, love yourself and all your foibles its what makes you who you are (just now anyway). Enjoy the process and if you slip up and eat too much chocolate and occasionally swear along the way "So What" just keep trying my lovelies. Life is a journey.
Much Love to you all
This week has been a huge journey for me. This week I have been full of Fear, nerves and emotion. These are feelings which in the past really crippled me. In fact would even go as far as to say consumed and paralysed me.
It is now the end of all the situations which triggered these feelings, time to reflect and refuel my emotionally drained body.
Fear and Nervousness
For any of you suffereing from Fear of doing something this is a perfectly natural response to something. The level we take it to in our everyday lives is quite possibly not. Deepening on your situation. If it is something life threatening then quite possibly this is a very real valid response. My case this week nothing was life threathening.
Trigger 1: Being in busy public places (Theatre and 2 concerts). No clue where this fear stems from. Quite possibly because of previously having suffered panic attacks in these locations. I feel a bit trapped and unable to relax or run quick enough. I keep persevering, as these are things I have loved and do despite my irrational fears enjoy. Its a time to spend with friends or family doing something different. Whilst there I jiggle and wriggle and move and fidget. Using up my nervous energy. I try sing, distract. Then in the end I focus on what I'm there to do, See a show. Something to distract us from our everyday worries not create more. This is downtime. It worked. Hopefully as I keep going to these events the anticipation and fear will subside. I can re-educate my brain that I am safe and having fun!
Trigger 2: Heights! This is a common fear for many and I think for me this stems from periods of labyrinthitis and vertigo. I suppose looking deeply at the fear its a feeling of not being grounded and going with it. With regards to this week I attended the theatre sitting front row in the gods haha, and my daughters first concert sitting in a crowded stadium see above fear and high up.
Also on way to theatre had to go down a steep escalator. It really all sounds highly amusing that such things can invoke such strong emotions. I did once try to overcome my fear by going para sailing, feel the fear and do it anyway kind if thing.But the boat malfunctioned causing us to drop into the ocean and get dragged under water. Hmmmm that never worked then. A friend recently posted an image on her facebook page and this stuck with me this week.
Trigger 3: Hospitals and Dentists, this fear stems from a bad experience at the age of 17. I never went back to the dentist for quite some time. I've been working on this one big time. I have worked with my dentist, chatted through my fears, cried, been shakey and now I listen to relaxation music or meditations that seems to help. I'm so for having nice teeth and a nice smile. Yesterday I attended hospital to get my wisdom teeth out. I had huge worries about being left at hospital, losing control getting my general aesthetic, people working in my mouth. I bumped this appointment so many times then yesterday it happened,. The nurses were lovely and I did it. I'm now home typing this blog recovering. More so emotionally than physically. Positive thoughts about the outcome and support from everyone meant a lot.
So fears and nervousness can be a good thing showing us how much we want to do something well, on the other hand these can be historic things stored in our brains that we need to work through. Fear really does snowball, and its our job to not let the layers build up too much, lets melt the snowball bit by bit, flake by flake.
Trigger 1: My sister is home from Austrailia spending time with our mother who is currently going through chemotherapy. This has been a wonderful opportunity to spend with each other. Equally it isn't the best circumstances. So its working through the emotion and enjoying the time we have together as a family. Cancer creates so many emotions and of course raises the issues of mortality. Cancer treatment is ever changing , appointments shift from one day to the next and finding the ability to be flexible during this time is challenging for everyone. High hopes can be up then crushed from one day to the next. It truly is a roller-coaster for all of us to ride and support each other through. Emotionally this is tiring for everyone. Not least the the desire for joy, happiness and health for my mother.
Trigger 2: I had to make the difficult decision to retire my daughters pony. This was a real gutrencher and explaining to a 6 year old that her pony would be leaving for a new home soon was probably the most difficult thing I've had to do so far as a parent. Seeing your child so upset is awful. I know it is the best possible outcome for the pony but working through this with my daughter is hard. Hard for me too actually as she's the sweetest thing and has been part of our family.
So the emotions experienced this week are pretty much to do with change, things aren't the same. everything is evolving. This can be hard to cope with. As things staying still offer us a sense of security and safeness. But change is inevitable and knowing that these things are necessary and trusting life is so important.
So all in all a pretty challenging week. But I didn't have a panic attack, I made it through even if I was shitting myself ha ha. We all have a strength inside us should we choose to find it. The power is there and until you find it keep going my lovelies.
I have 2 blogs planned for you. 1 about judgement and one about making time for silence. Please feel free to contact me, I love hearing from you.
Thanks for listening.
Peace, Love and Joy to you all
New Year is normally a time where all guns a blazing I'm coming up with numerous resolutions. Pretty frequently the same ones I've had for years. To be a size 12, earn more, contribute more financially to my home, learn a new skill, get a new qualification etc etc.
This year I'm keeping it simple. Do more of what I love and keep up the good work I've already started. Nothing too intimidating. I have derailed slightly over the festive period to just a case of getting back on track.
Previously I've always been an emotional eater. Eat to celebrate, eat to commiserate, eat to reward. Its my treat to myself. Making a conscious effort to re-educate myself. Be more mindful towards my eating. Look at food as fuel for my body. What will help it work and function better.
This mindfulness is backed up by my desire to stay healthy for myself and also so I can spend time with my mother who has cancer. I suppose having a reason to stay healthy is an incentive. I'm so conscious of staying well so I can see my mother.
In a way the experience of ill health I had last year has prepared me for my mums cancer and everything that goes with it. Its given me the tools to cope. My reiki, yoga, meditation, healthy eating,not really drinking and just general self care keeps me sane. I still have emotional moments for sure, but I'm not engulfed by them.
I'm on a journey of trying to simplify my life. I find that when I am pushed by too many things to fit into my time, that's my stubbling block. That is where the fear, anxiety and un-balancedness comes from. I create my own stress by allowing myself to take on too much. I'm trying a new mantra that "time is my friend". I've made some changes with work and my horses which will hopefully allow me some free time and time to spend with my mum. Running around all the time, leads to grabbing snacks on the go, eating crap then feeling crap. So looking for ways to improve this situation and allow myself some time to nourish myself.
I'm not making any life changing decisions just now, I'm curbing my gung ho attitude a bit and slowing things down so I can enjoy my days and time with my family.
Little steps daily. Here's some of my little steps.
It's a work in progress but it is happening. No matter how small the action it will have an effect.
Wishing you all a super wonderful 2016, take care. Looking forward to blogging more, and experiencing and delving more into life. Love and Hope Susi xxxx
Hi there I am in my thirties and previously suffered from balance issues continuously for 6/7 years. I had recurrent Labyrinthitis during that period.This is where the blog began. I am a keen horserider, avid cook, yoga and Reiki loving mother of 3 and house wife. Hope you enjoy my blog and my journey to health and happiness. xx